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LOVE AT FIRST FIGHT

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LOVE AT FIRST FIGHT

After only a couple months of marriage, Felix was having a hard time deciding where he would take the love of his life Sgt. Callhoun to. Callhoun was one ‘Dynamite Girl’, and Felix already learned she wasn’t like any of those upper class gals he was adjusted to living in the penthouse in ‘Wreck-It Ralph.’
He paced back and forth in the complex frantically, hoping he could make this Valentine’s Day romantic and fun at the same time. Sure Callhoun loved romantic walks on the beach and wine and candlelight. But she also loved a good gun battle and a good fight where there was one.
Not exactly the type of thing Felix was accustomed to. How to make his first Valentine’s with his wife both romantic and exciting? Just how could he do it?

He went down to the dump and visited his friend Ralph who was busy tidying up Q Bert’s home.
“Greetings neighbor!” Felix waved at Ralph.
“Oh hey Felix!” Ralph waved back. “I’m just setting up Q Bert’s for his house warming party for Mr. and Mrs. Pac-Man. Hard to believe that their classic game is being unplugged.)
“Hey Ralph…” Felix began. “Valentine’s Day is coming up and I don’t know what to do with Callhoun.”
“You don’t?” Ralph asked.
“No…” Felix said biting his lip. “I mean she is a real dynamite girl. Perhaps too…dynamit-ey…for my taste. Not that dynamite is bad…when it’s her…I mean in games its bad because it blows up stuff and I…fix stuff…but I…”
Ralph then put out a huge hand in front of Felix’s face.
“Felix…” Ralph began. “It’ll be alright. Dinner and a movie and then…whatever couples do afterwards.”
“You never experienced any of that.” Felix said. “No girls ever wanted to be with….”
Ralph then turned around and glared at Felix almost like he was ready to pound him.
“Ummmm..that is what I meant to say…” Felix said. “No girls ever got to know the ‘real you.”
Ralph then shrugged and went back fixing up Q Bert’s place.
“Look Ralph…” Felix said. “I’m in a real picka dilly of a pickle. Dinner and a movie sure…but Callhoun’s a girl who likes action, excitement and shooting bugs.”
“I’m not exactly the kind of guy you ask when it comes to juggling between the two.” Ralph said.
“Oh….” Felix said disappointedly.
“But for someone who knows how to make a girl like Callhoun happy…” Ralph continued. “I know someone who I think can find a happy medium between romantic, fun and perhaps even dangerous.”
“Who?” Felxi asked.


“You’re stuck on what to do huh?” Venellope Von Schweetz replied coyly.
“I am.” Felix said. “Ralph said you know what girls like Callhoun like.”
“Ye-eah.” Vanellope retorted. “Girls like her don’t always go for that ‘kiss on the hand’ or ‘pony rides’ baloney.”
“I thought just as much.” Felix said.
“Which is why Ralph did the right thing sending you to me.” Vanellope said holding up a piece of paper.
“What’s that?” Felix asked.
“It’s an invitation.” Vanellope said. “You know that tag team fighting game that’s so popular here at the arcades?”
“Oh yeah….” Felix said. “Zangief is particularly in love with it. He especially likes fighting alongside this big green fellow.”
“Yeah….” Vanellope said. “Anyways this is a flyer inviting couples who want to experience the thrills and the excitement of competing in a real tag team fighting match. It says it’ll boost your confidence as well as your trust in your spouse as you learn to work with each other.”
“Sounds like it would hurt.” Felix said.
“Not really…..” Venellope smiled. “If you lose you come out of it clean as a whistle. The game is programmed to rejuvenate all participants so no one really gets ‘hurt.’ Besides: you’re Fix-It Felix. Any bruises, bumps or broken bones you can fix with that hammer.”
“So you’re suggesting me and Callhoun participate in this ‘tag team couples match’?” Felix asked.
“No I merely brought it up because I love talking about something totally unrelated.” Vanellope rolled her eyes. “Of course I am suggesting you two do this “short round!” It’ll be exciting and fun and show how well you two work as a couple and as team.”
“…..” Felix pondered over it and it actually did sound like a pretty good idea the more he thought about it. “Welll….OK! I’ll do it!!”
“That’s the spirit “pipsqueak!!”” Vanellope said. “Now let’s go register you two.”
“Wow!!” Felix said feeling sudden elation. “Just wait to Callhoun sees what I did. She’s going to be SO thrilled!”


“You…..did what again?” Callhoun asked sharply.
“I signed us up for the ‘tag team couples match’ for the most popular fighting game in the arcade!” Felix said enthusiastically. “Isn’t this great?”
“It’s crazy!” Callhoun snapped. “Where’d you even come up with this idea? You’re not exactly the kind of guy who would think of stuff like this.”
“Well Vanellope had this flyer and…” Felix began.
“Von Schweetz?” Callhoun asked. “Heh….figures. The ‘Turbo Incident’ really messed up that girl’s head.”
“Well she already signed us up and we can’t just turn it down.” Felix replied.”Besides. You’re not afraid of a little “pain” are you?”
“It’s not about me.” Callhoun replied. “It’s about you. No offense honey….but not only can you not fight, you’re incapable of inflicting any damage whatsoever. You only know how to fix stuff!”
Felix just stared down with his hands behind his back. He was too sheepish to admit that she was pretty right about this.
“Well….yeah….” Felix said softly. “But….you know. I figured there was a way to work it out….”
“I think I’d do most of the fighting.” Callhoun replied. “I mean….say.”
Callhoun suddenly got an idea.
“Um…you OK hon?” Felix asked.
“You know something…” Callhoun said with a sly grin. “This whole ‘Tag Team’ thing seems like a pretty keen idea.”
“……It is?” Felix asked staring at her looking very confused.
“Let’s just go to the game, and I’ll tell you all about it.” Callhoun said smugly.
‘Geez’ Felix thought to himself. ‘First she thought this idea was crazy and now she thinks it’s a good idea. What’s she got in mind?’

Valentine’s Day had arrived and couples from all around the arcade scene were gathering at the most popular fighting game in the arcade. The turnout for ‘Tag Team Couples Day.’ They were all waiting at the “lobby” within the game.
Both Callhoun and Felix waited patiently for their turns. One by one they saw couples emerging from their battles either laughing or crying bitterly in defeat.
Felix saw as Mr. And Mrs. Pac Man walked away both arguing with each other.
“I told you…” Pac Man scolded. “I’m more capable of my ‘thousand mouth attack.’ You should have let me take out Zangief!”
“You’re too slow!!” Mrs. Pac Man barked back. “I’m far more faster. Why didn’t you munch on that cherry I gave you?”
“Golly…” Felix said. “This whole thing doesn’t seem to be entirely working out for some people.”
“I guess they’re just not good at teamwork.” Callhoun said.
“I’m beginning to think fighting and losing bitterly isn’t so romantic after all.” Felix said. “So if you don’t want to do this I….”
“We are going to do this!” Callhoun said proudly. “And here’s why we’re going to fight…and win.”
“Oh….how?” Felix asked.
“We’re just going to….” Callhoun began. But before she could finish she saw it was her and Felix’s turn to enter the battle arena.
“Gah!!” Felix gasped. “Oh mercy. We’re next!”
“Then let’s do this!” Callhoun said. “I’ll explain the plan inside.”

In the first level of the Battle Arena, Felix and Callhoun stood side by side and awaited their challengers. Two giant figures stepped forward. One was big and green, the other a familiar hairy man in red speedos.
“Oh mighty merciful heavens!” Felix cried. “Zangief…and..THE Hulk!?”
“This game’s got some serious licensing issues.” Callhoun said.
“DAH!!” Zangief exclaimed. “I am the Red Cyclone!! Are you ready to receive a pummeling!?”
“Grrrrrrr…” The Hulk growled.
“Hon…” Felix said tapping Callhoun’s thigh. “What is your plan? I um….think now’s a good time to tell me.”
“Just let me go first.” Callhoun said. “And when I appear to be down you….”
At that moment a mighty voice rang over the intercom within the arena. Zangief then took his fighting position.
“ARE YOU READY!!!?” The voice cried.
“Honey…” Felix began.
“Just let me handle this first.” Callhoun said as she readied her fighting stance. “I’ll call for you.”
“FIGHT!!!” The voice cried.
And thus it began. Despite Zangief being massive Callhoun was very fast on her feet and delivered massive roundhouse kicks to his giant skull. For a good while she was delivering some hard damage to Zangief and Felix just stood there watching all the impressive martial arts moves his wife was doing. Not once breaking a sweat she seemed ready to put the Red Cyclone down. Felix wondered if she was even going to need him at all. Then, Zangief tagged out and the Hulk came in. The Hulk grabbed chunks of the earth beneath him and the rocks made Callhoun lose her balance. Getting hit by the rocks caused some damage against her and the Hulk began pounding at her with his massive green hands. Zangief then tagged him out again and grabbed Callhoun. He then performed his famous suplex on her where he grabbed her and spun around in the air and slammed her down. This caused Callhoun to bounce back far from Zangief and at Felix’s feet. Her life bar was nearly 80% gone.
“Oh no!!!” Felix cried. “Honey…baby…I…”
“Save your tears lover.” Callhoun replied sarcastically. “I’m fine.”
“Re…really?” Felix asked. “That looked like it really hurt.”
“You can’t get hurt here.” Callhoun said. “The damage received only affects your lifebar.”
“Oh….right.” Felix remembered. “But you’re almost out of life. I guess I’m up.”
“You’re right…” Callhoun said. “Felix…hit me.”
“….What?” Felix asked.
“You heard me.” Callhoun replied. “Hit me…with your hammer.”
“…..Why?” Felix asked.
“Duh!” Callhoun replied. “So I can get my life back!! We’re going to win this by me doing the fighting, and you the healing.”
“…Oooohhhhhh….” Felix said. “…..Isn’t that kind of cheating?”
“There’s nothing in the rules that says we can’t.” Callhoun said. “It only states use your abilities to fight. Now hit me with your hammer.”
At that moment the Hulk was charging at Callhoun ready to finish her off.
“HIT ME!!” Callhoun screamed.
Felix then got out his hammer and tapped Callhoun on her head. She went cross eyed for a bit but then shook her head and jumped to her feet. Her lifebar was completely full.
As the Hulk tried to land on her she jumped out of his way and then jumped at his head delivering another big roundhouse kick to his face. She then kept pummeling at him with her fists and kicks, being too small and too quick for the big green man to catch her. Forgetting to tag out the Hulk was then knocked out with his lifebar depleted. Zangief then jumped in to try and catch her. But Callhoun backflipped and then delivered one more powerful roundhouse to his head. This move depleted Zangief’s lifebar. Both opponents were out.
“K.O.!!!”  The voice cried. “CALLHOUN WINS!!”
Callhoun then pumped her fist in the air.
“YEAH!!” She screamed. “That’s what I’m talking about!”
She then looked down at Felix who seemed a bit uneasy.
“We’re going to the next round baby!” she gloated.
“That’s great hon…” Felix said. “But…I’m not sure if your strategy is full proof. Furthermore…I’m not sure it’s ethical.”
“Felix baby…” Callhoun replied. “This match is my Valentine’s Day gift right?”
“Um…yeah?” Felix said.
“And being as it’s my gift I can do what I want with it right?” Callhoun asked.
“Yeah…” Felix said.
“So we’re going to win this thing how I want it won.” Callhoun replied. “That a problem?”
“No…it isn’t.” Felix said looking down.
“Good man!” Callhoun said kissing Felix on the forehead. “Now c’mon!! We gotta tournament to win.”
“I’m so excited….” Felix said unenthusiastically. Not only did Callhoun’s methods of winning seem to give her and Felix a bit of an unfair advantage; but it also seemed this was the only thing Felix was good for. Just fixing Callhoun so she could continue to do all the fighting while he just stood there. He wanted to be more; involved.

(The following fights have Joe Esposito’s “You’re The Best Around” playing in the background.”)
The second round had Callhoun fighting Dhalsim and Hsien-Ko. Even though Dhalsim’s flame breathe and long reach was proving a bit much for Callhoun; she of course got Felix to heal her when needed. Felix just watched as the amazing strength and martial arts moves of Callhoun eventually took down Dhalsim and Hsien-Ko.
The third round had Callhoun pitted against Silver Skrull and Crimson Viper. Both Crimson and Skrull’s abilities were getting the best of Callhoun. But as always, Felix was there to heal when needed. Soon all the heat and electric blasts from the opponents weren’t fazing Callhoun as she eventually wore both them down to advance to the next round.
The fourth round had her fighting Chris Redfield and Silver Samurai. Like the previous matches before whenever she needed healing she got Felix to fix her. Felix byt this point just tapped her unenthusiastically on the head with a bored look on his face as she regained her life and continued to do all the fighting.
Fourth round won, then the fifth, then the sixth and then the seventh. All these rounds won thanks to Callhoun’s strategy. It was working out great. But Felix was getting bored of merely being the healer and not being part of the action. Still…this was his gift to Callhoun. And from the look on her face as she continued to fight, she was having a great time. Whatever makes her happy Felix told himself.

This was it. The final round was in sight. Callhoun’s spirits were high. For if this final round was won she and Felix would be the first couple of the day to have completed the tournament. She was psyched and talking nonstop to Felix about how much she loved this gift to her. Felix was happy she loved the gift. But he still felt like he should be in on the action too.
“Final round! I don’t believe this!!” Callhoun said excitedly. “We’re actually going to win this thing!!!”
“You sure?” Felix asked. “This IS ‘The Final Round’ after all. I mean, if you need me to jump in and do some fighting…”
“No way!” Callhoun replied. “Just keep healing me when needed and this thing’s ours. We can’t blow our chances by having you trying to throw punches.”
Callhoun was so high off the smell of victory that she wasn’t aware she hurt Felix’s feelings. She didn’t mean to. She just loved to win and the thrill of the fight exhilarated her. And if there was one thing Felix learned about Callhoun it was never to interrupt her when she was on a role.

The two entered the final round together. Their opponents were M. Bison and Juri. Both looked evilly at their challengers.
“Well…well…” Juri said lustfully. “It looks like these two lovebirds are going to be our ‘champion couple.”
“Heh…” Bison retorted. “If they can beat us that is.”
“Yeah….” Juri said laughing. “And that isn’t gonna be a walk in the park.”
Callhoun just stood defiantly and smirked at Juri.
“This final round’s ours.” Callhoun scoffed. “It’ll be like taking candy from a baby.”
“Don’t flatter yourself hon…” Juri said softly. “Whatever’s been working for oyu before won’t work now.”
“We’ll see about that!” Callhoun said reading herself. “Come at me!!”
“C’mon Juri…” Bison said getting into his fighting stance. “Let’s be real bad guys and dash their hopes of victory.”
“Dashing the hopes of a couple who worked sooooo hard to get here...” Juri said smiling. “Oh Bison…you know exactly what to give a girl on Valentine’s Day.”
“FINAL ROUND!!!” The loud voice cried. “FIGHT!!”
Callhoun jumped at Juri who was performing her aerial kicks and flashy moves. They were both fast and the pink streams of energy she emitted were hitting Callhoun faster than she could anticipate. Juri then tagged out and let Bison take over. Bison then jumped on Callhoun’s head and then performed a skull crusher maneuver with his fists. He then did a psycho crusher which threw Callhoun back to Felix. Her lifebar was already halfway depleted within a matter of seconds.
“Gah!” Callhoun said sitting up. “This last battle’s tougher than I thought.”
She then looked up at Felix.
“Felix…” She said. “It’s a little early, but hit me!!”
“Sigh….” Felix said still hurt by what Callhoun said earlier. “As you wish hon.”
But before Felix could hit his hammer on Callhoun’s head, Juri jumped in and kicked it out of his hand. Bison then appeared behind Felix and grabbed it.
“What the!!!?” Felix cried.
Bison and Juri laughed maniacally as they held the magic hammer.
“So….” Juri said looking down at Callhoun. “THIS is how you did it!”
“This hammer you been using…” Bison said. “You been using it to regain your lost lifebar points.”
Callhoun was stunned. So was Felix. The very thing that brought them this far and this close to victory was in the hands of their opponents.
“Well….” Juri said. “Looks like you lost your only chances of winning.”
“Yeah…” Bison said smiling. He then tossed the hammer far away where Callhoun and Felix could not reach it.
Callhoun got to her feet and readied herself to fight again.
“We’re going to make this quick hon…” juri said as she and Bison began advancing towards her. “Unless of course…you want to tag short stop in.”
“Ergh…” Callhoun gritted her teeth. “No….I can still win!”
“I disagree….” Juri said. A bright light flashed in her eyes as she leapt up in the air and struck Callhoun with her foot. Bison then intervened with a Double Knee Press nightmare that threw Callhoun next to Felix. Callhoun was in real trouble. Only 10% of her life remained. Bison and Juri just laughed.
“….That’s it.” Callhoun snarled. “Without that hammer we’re done!!”
“Honey…” felix said. “You’re lifebar’s almost gone!”
“I know that!” Callhoun said turning angrily at Felix. “Thanks for reminding me!”
Felix saw how angry she was. Before she was absolutely happy she was going to win. Now with defeat eminent; she was starting to lose her cool. But nevertheless: Felix mustered up his courage.
“Honey….” He said boldly. “Tag me IN!!”
“You?” She snarled. “You can’t fight!”
“You got no other option!” He said. “I know I can help without my hammer!”
“You can’t do a thing about….” Callhoun replied.
“HONEY!!” Felix snapped. “I ask of you…before we lose bitterly…trust me!! Believe in me!!”
Callhoun stared at Felix and then she looked as Juri and Bison were getting closer to end her.
After staring down at the ground for a bit she bit her lower lip, swallowed her pride and then slapped her palm against Felix’s.
“Go get em’ cowboy…” She said quietly.
“That’s a CAN DO!” Felix said proudly.
Felix jumped into the fray and stood defiantly. Juri and Bison then laughed.
“Oh man…” juri snorted. “Things have become desperate. She sent in the runt.”
“It’s OK…” Bison smiled at Felix. “Nobody gets hurt in this thing…except for their pride.”
“Well I got plenty of it.” Felix said defiantly. “So you better bring In the heavies!!”
“You got it shortstack.” Juri replied.
Juri then kicked Felix in the face and then Bison slid underneath him and kicked him to the side. Juri then kept kicking Felix’s body more and Bison then psycho crushered him against the wall. Felix appeared to be down; and down for good.
Both Bison and Juri laughed.
“Good effort….” Juri said.
“Or none at all…” Bison retorted. “What a waste.”
They then saw Callhoun looking panicked. They edged closer to her as she readied for one last blow that would end the fight right now.
Before either Bison or Juri could even begin to lay a hand on her; Felix jumped in front of Callhoun looking determined and meaner than ever.
“Well….well…” Juri said. “I see you still got fight in you.”
“And plenty of it ma’am.” Felix said proudly.
“Not even close.” Bison said.
“We beat the stuffing out of you.” Juri laughed. “You probably don’t have so much as a sliver of life left.”
“I dis-a-gree….” Felix said smugly. “Look…”
Felix pointed up. Juri, Bison and Callhoun looked up. Suddenly their mouths dropped in absolute amazement.
It was true that Bison and Juri hit Felix really hard. Normally such combos would deal heavy blows to opponents. But for Felix; it did almost nothing. His lifebar still had a great amount of life left. In fact, Felix still had about 95% of it left despite what Bison and Juri did.
“N….no….” Juri said
“There’s no way he…” Bison exclaimed.
Callhoun then looked at Felix in amazement.
“H….how?” Callhoun asked Felix. “How could you withstand all that?”
“Well, I admit those two hit pretty hard.” Felix said proudly. “But nothing as hard as what Ralph threw at me in my game. I’ve taken blows to the head far worse than what those two have done. Compared to Ralph’s fury: these two are just amateurs!”
Bison and Juri then looked angrily at Felix.
“AMATEURS!!?” Juri screeched.
“I’ll show YOU Amateur!!” Bison growled.
Felix then did his incredible jumps that even Juri and Bison couldn’t see. He was jumping all over the place. He then landed on Juri’s head. Those boots of his actually did damage. Juri saw a chunk of her life deplete to her own horror. Bison then tried hitting Felix as his hard-to-spot jumping but kept missing. Felix then plunged his feet into Bison’s chest, actually throwing him against the wall and depleting a great chunk of his lifebar too.
Callhoun stood up and was amazed at what Felix was doing. He looked up and saw how his jumping and foot stomping was actually taking away chunk after chunk of Juri and Bison’s lifebars. They couldn’t hit him and he just kept jumping and stomping around until he landed near his hammer.
With both Juri and Bison now only at 25% life left for both, Felix grabbed his hammer wand rushed at Callhoun to finish the job.
“OK hon!!” Felix said. “I got the hammer. Now let’s fix you up and you win this for us.”
Callhoun then motioned for Felix to stop.
“No Felix…” Callhoun said.
“….Huh?” Felix asked. “But they’re almost down…we CAN win!”
“We ARE going to win.” Callhoun said. She then smiled as she turned at Felix. “But we’re going to win as I am.”
Felix looked up at Callhoun surprised.
“You had more in you than I thought.” Callhoun said. “I only thought you were good for healing and letting me do the work. But what you just did right now…we really don’t need that hammer of yours. We just need….each other.”
Felix then smiled and tossed his hammer aside.
“Let’s win this!!” Felix said.
Felix tagged Callhoun back in. Juri then rushed at her angrily and tried kicking her again. But Callhoun’s new founded faith in Felix helped her regain her focus and poise. It wasn’t long until Callhoun kicked Juri away and delivered another fatal blow to her head. Juri was KO’ed. She then tagged Felix back in to finish off Bison. Bison tried to psycho crush and skull bash his way at Felix. But Felix was too fast and agile until right above his head he did a furious foot stomp that plowed Bison into the ground. His lifebar was depleted. Juri and Bison were out.
“K.O.!!!” The voice cried. “FELIX WINS!!!”
They had done it!! Felix and Callhoun had won!!
“WINNERS OF THE TAG TEAM COUPLES TOURNAMENT….SGT. CALLHOUN AND FIX-IT FELIX JR!!!” The voice cried.
Felix and Callhoun embraced laughing and high fiving each other. Bison and Juri got up looking very displeased. They began arguing with one another.
“You’re a loser!!” Juri snapped. “It’s no wonder people don’t pick you for fights.”
“Juri shut up!!!” Bison snapped. “I won’t have you speak of me like that in front of my men!”
“Who!!?” Juri snarled. “The tall bald guy and the claw wielding psycho!?”
As the two kept bickering Callhoun and Felix walked away from the arena holding hands. They stared at each other lovingly knowing they had done more for each other today than one could realize.


That night at the penthouse apartment suit, Felix and Callhoun showed off their ‘Couples Trohpy’ to their friends. Ralph and Vanellope were particularly impressed.
“Thatta boy Felix.” Ralph said patting Felix on the shoulder. “Knw you had it in ya.”
“Not bad pint size.” Vanellope said. “Of course the missus here did most of the work right?”
“Yeah…” Callhoun said. “But only because I didn’t believe in Felix at first.”
Everyone stared at her stunned.
“I realize this tournament was more than just winning. It was more than just relying on magic hammers and lifebars to win.” Callhoun said. She then sat down and put her arm around Felix. “What I realized was…this tournament was about something more. And that’s trust….trust in the one you love.”
She then kissed Felix on the cheek. Felix of course blushed and smiled.
“I guess in the end it was faith in each other that won the day.” Felix said. “And that to me is what a relationship is all about.”
“As it always should be.” Callhoun replied.

The two then kissed. What started out as a gift soon turned into a symbol of the one precious thing that Callhoun and Felix wanted more than anything to make their love eternal. That was faith in each other and erasing any shadow of doubt of what either can do. That special bond of trust is something that is more important than winning. Because losing a tournament was one thing; but losing that bond all together was even more devastating. And winning the tournament was more than just winning a battle. It was winning respect and trust that can never be broken; no matter the odds.

THE END
© 2013 - 2024 shinragod
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SwimProductionsArt's avatar
Ohhh! You write as well as you draw bro! Good job on this one-shot. Also, it has been forever since I've last seen you. How have you been doing lately?